It’s a Friday night. You just got off a 60-hour work week. You’re in Vegas, and you gotta party! But sleep is beckoning … So which magic potion best tricks your body into wakefulness? Here’s the breakdown. You decide.
Red Bull Energy Drink
Size: 8.4 oz.
Calories: 110
Caffeine: 80 mg
Color: Yellow with a tint of green
Ingredients: Taurine, B vitamins, glucuronolactone
Flavor: Naked without vodka
Cool Factor: Bottle-service chic
Trivia: Was banned in France for 12 years
Warning Label: None
Rockstar Energy Drink
Size: 16 oz.
Calories: 280
Caffeine: 160 mg
Color: Neon urine
Ingredients: Guarana, ginkgo, ginseng, milk thistle
Flavor: Grows on you when it’s done burning out your taste buds
Cool Factor: Cool, if you’re an adolescent male/aspiring BMX biker
Trivia: Based in Las Vegas
Warning Label: “Not recommended for children, nursing women or those sensitive to caffeine”
Monster Energy
Size: 16 oz.
Calories: 200
Caffeine: Proprietary information
Color: Deep peach
Ingredients: L-carnitine, taurine, ginseng, B vitamins
Flavor: Electric orange sherbet
Cool Factor: Same adolescent boy/BMX biker target group as Rockstar
Trivia: Join the “Monster Army” and you’ll see
Warning Label: “Limit 3 cans per day. Not recommended for children, pregnant women or people sensitive to caffeine”
Go Girl Sugar Free Energy Drink
Size: 12 oz.
Calories: Less than 5
Caffeine: 150 mg
Color: My Little Pony pink
Ingredients: Taurine, B vitamins, super citrimax (“a mild herbal appetite suppressant”)
Flavor: Demonic fruit punch
Cool Factor: Uncool, unless you’re on a breast-cancer walk.
Trivia: “Portion of proceeds donated to breast cancer research”
Warning Label: “Not recommended for children, pregnant women or those sensitive to caffeine”
Plain Coffee
Size: 8 oz.
Calories: 0
Caffeine: 80-175 mg
Color: Black
Ingredients: Coffee, water
Flavor: Tastes like coffee
Cool Factor: Neutral
Trivia: You can make this yourself at home
Warning Label: None
5-Hour Energy
Size: 2 oz.
Calories: 4
Caffeine: “Contains caffeine comparable to a cup of leading premium coffee”
Color: Clear with a tint of pink
Ingredients: Taurine, glucuronolactone, malic acid, N-acetyl, L-tyrosine, L-phenylaline, caffeine, citicoline
Flavor: A chalky combo of diluted NutraSweet and Pop Rocks
Cool Factor: Invisible
Trivia: Made my friend puke the next day when she drank too many
Warning Label: “Do not exceed two bottles daily, consumed several hours apart. Use or discard any remainder within 72 hours after opening. You may experience a Niacin Flush (hot feeling, skin redness) that lasts a few minutes. This is caused by increased blood flow near the skin. Do not take if you are pregnant or nursing or under 12 years of age.”
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